Monday, February 9, 2026
This is going to be long, but I know Hayward would have wanted his eulogy to be a part of his Tribute Book.
I would like to begin by telling you just a little bit about myself. My name is Violet and I am Hayward's oldest sister. I lived most of my early years with my grandparents, Hayward and Blanche until my grandmother passed when I was ten years old. So, then, I moved back in with my parents Harold and Laura and I noticed something right away and that was that some of the older siblings were calling some of the younger siblings, their babies!? I was astounded by this unusual yet mystifying custom. So, I went to my mother and said, "Please may I have my own baby too?" and I put in a request for my sister Tia as she was an actual baby at the time. To my utter dismay, mom says, "No, no you can't have Tia, Tia already belongs to Diane". I took one look at Diane, sitting across the room with her arms wrapped around Tia and I knew she would not be open to negotiations. Mom could see how disappointed I was and I guess she really wanted me to fit in, so she looks at me with a big smile on her face and says, "I'll tell you what then, you can have Hayward!" and that's the day that Hayward became my precious baby!
In the coming years, I did the best I could. At 13, you know, I hadn't taken good parenting 101, so I neglected to fill Hayward in on some of the facts of life, like, where babies come from. I took him places like to the store and to the shore and I even took him to my classroom for the day. Mrs. Swyers was my home room teacher and she was in the family way, you know and Hayward, only a young boy at the time, could not take his eyes off her belly and he blurts out, "Violet, why is her belly so big?" "Shush, shush" I say "Mrs. Swyers is having a baby". With that Hayward jumps up from his seat and says rather loudly, "Violet, you mean to tell me, there's a baby in there"! Well, the whole class bursts into laughter, Mrs. Swyers isn't too pleased but she comes down to my desk and she just smiles at Hayward and says, "Yes, that's right but I'm not only having one baby, there are two babies in here!" Hayward, awe struck, throws his arms up into the air and collapses into his seat.
I also took him with me to Jim and Sarah Mulcahy's home where he met some amazing people like Jim, his lovely wife Sarah, Larry and Phonse White, Art Messervey, Gordie and Kevie MacDonald, Charlie Mercer, Billy Power, just to name a few. Actually, you know, Hayward's first time on stage wasn't singing and playing guitar. It was step dancing! and what a step dancer he was! Sarah Mulcahy, choreographed the routine, worked with Hayward and she adored him and he adored her. We were all so proud of him and he was just glowing. That may have been when he got bitten by the entertainment bug. Who knows? He certainly went on for the rest of his life entertaining people, be it on stage, in bars, in sheds, in so many people's kitchens, especially the Connelly's kitchen. So much so, that he named his show at the Blueberry Festival, "Phyllis' Kitchen", in memory of the late Phyllis Bennett and Gordon Connelly.
Hayward entertained with that voice that came from the depths of his heart and soul to our ears and hearts. He truly belonged to everyone and them to him. His stories and jokes had us all rolling on the floor in laughter. I remember the first joke he ever told as a young boy, maybe six years old, he says, "Violet, what's black and white, black and white, black and white and black and blue?" and I say, "I don't know Wardie, what's black and white and black and white and black and white and black and blue?" and he looks up at me with this big grin on his face and says, "A nun, falling downstairs! ha, ha, ba, ha, ha ha"
He enjoyed a long career as an entertainer, appearing in shows at the Stephenville Arts and Culture Centers, Aboriginal Showcases, Blueberry Festival and several festivals all across the island of Newfoundland. He was also always there to support charitable fundraising events (too many to name), the most recent being the Bay St. George Sick Kids Telethon. In recent years, he also started performing more with his beautiful and talented daughter, Amber Jane, who by the way knows all the words to the Bob Dylan song "Hurricane".
Hayward, was the most sought after child, especially by our grandfather. Grandpa would come for a visit and we would all run out to greet him and he'd be craning his neck to see out over us, shouting, "Where's Hayward! Where's my name sake?" Little Hayward would come running out, barreling his way through all of us to get to grandpa, jumping up into his arms. Hayward would always have some news to share with grandfather, like he would say, "There was lots of chickens on the road this morning grandpa!" and grandfather would say, "Yeah, you don't say!" and Hayward says, "Yeah, Uncle Nolan's chickens got loosed again".
I jump ahead a ways now to a memory of Hayward as a young man showing up at mom's all dressed up in a three piece suit, shirt and tie with a million dollar smile on his face, 'cause it was games night and the game was, "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" It was Hayward's turn to be the host and he was in full Regis Philbin mode. Well, you know now, he did such a great job playing the role of Regis, that he had us on the edge of our seats one minute and in stitches the next. I can still see my brother Gary (dressed as an Arab Oil Sheik, Prince Ahboo) now why an Arab Oil Sheik was looking to win a million dollars, that's for him to say. Anyway, Prince Ahboo, Gary, gives his answer to a very difficult question and Regis, Hayward, says, "Prince Ahboo, is that your final answer?" and Gary hesitates just a little and Hayward jumps in with "Are you sure, that that is your final answer?" and Gary says with confidence, eyes blinking, "Yes, Regis, yes that is my final answer." and Hayward says, "That answer waaass" (long pause) now we were all holding our breath because we knew that either correct or incorrect was to follow, but when? Finally, Hayward takes a deep breath and in a voice loud and clear and full of excitement says, "Cooorrect! That answer was correct and you now move on for a chance to win one million dollars! Then Hayward gets to Gary's next question and says, "Now, Prince Ahboo, this next question is gonna be really tough, you might want to use one of your life lines here, let's see, who do you have on your list, hmm, Mr. Walter Swyers, MA, BA, MD, Phd, XYZ! excellent choice for phone a friend if I do say so myself. Mr Brian Butt, another excellent choice I may add." Of course, there wasn't anything written on paper, Hayward was making it up as he went along.
Skipping to another memory now. Hayward was a brother and friend to everyone of his brother-in-laws, they all had something special that bonded them in friendship. With my husband Mike that was I'd have to say playing golf. They loved that game so much, they'd be down at Seaside Links as soon as the season opened. Now, Hayward noticed something in particular when he first got to the golf course and that was that there were all these golf balls lying here, there and everywhere. So, Hayward, starts the traditional, yearly, "Spring" Golf Ball Hunt. He noticed that spring, before the grass grew and bushes and trees filled in was the best time for the hunt. So, every spring, off they would go, Hayward, Mike and the Twin, salt beef buckets in hand, ball retriever over one shoulder, would remind one of a page from a Mark Twain book. Then, they would return at end of day with their buckets chalk full of some pretty high quality golf balls. As they were washing them off, you could hear Hayward, "Mike, look at this one a Titlest!" The other thing was that they loved playing so much that they didn't want to stop when the sun went down. So, Hayward shows up all excited this day with his solution to Night Golf. In his hands he's holding "Glow In The Dark" golf balls and "Lite Sticks". For those of you who may or may not be familiar with the game of golf, the lite sticks were for breaking and wrapping around the flag pole. Ingenious.
I can't neglect to mention one of the most unforgettable moments in Hayward's life, aside from the day he met his loving wife, Tina and the birth of his child, his dream came true when he met his life long idol, Canadian Singer Songwriter, Gordon Lightfoot! In spite of Hayward's terrible fear of anything he couldn't step off of or out of onto solid ground, he flew to Toronto, took in a Gordon Lightfoot concert and actually met, spoke to and got a picture taken with his idol backstage! That experience meant the world to him and will never be forgotten.
Hayward was very naturally talented when it came to recreational activities like shooting pool, playing golf and throwing darts. He enjoyed these activities immensely, but what he enjoyed even more, you know, was what these activities brought with them and that was, the company of good friends, a few cold beer "Black Horse" and you guessed it, a shed party! Tina and Hayward had the best shed parties that I'm sure will go down in local folklore. Joined by many other talented individuals (too many to name), the rest of us had the pleasure of just strapping ourselves into a front row seat for a free ride on the "16th Avenue Express"
Hayward, always there, always a part of so many lives, his strength, his honesty, his humility, his deep and abiding faith in God, his willingness to help those in need, his love for his family, his friends, his community, his country was both unfailing and inspirational. We have all been truly blessed to have been a part of his precious life. He will always live in our hearts and minds as we continue to hear his voice and laughter echo through the Halls of Heaven.
When I close my eyes, I can hear the first song he ever sang as a boy, "I washed my hands in muddy water, I washed my hands but they didn't come clean, I tried to do what my daddy told me, oh yeah now, but I must have washed my hands in a muddy stream."
and then the Glen Campbell song, "If you see your brother standing by the road with a heavy load from the seeds he sowed and if you see your sister falling by the way, just stop and say, you're going the wrong way, you've got to try a little kindness, show a little kindness, shine your light for every one to see and if you try a little kindness, then you'll overlook the blindness of the narrow minded people on the narrow minded street."
and I'll leave you now with these words from the Gordon Lightfoot song "The Ponyman"
When it's midnight on the meadow
And the cats are in the shed
And the river tells a story
At the window by my bed
If you listen very closely
Be as quiet as you can
In the yard you'll hear him
It is the Ponyman
And when we're all assembled
He gives a soft command
And we climb aboard our ponies
As in a row they stand
Then down the road we gallop
And across the fields we fly
And soon we all go sailing
Into the midnight sky
Thank you all for loving my precious baby boy.