Tuesday, March 12, 2024
On Tuesday, March 5th, my brother Allie (Aloysius junior) passed away back in Newfoundland at the age of 63. Anyone living in Stephenville, Newfoundland, probably knew Allie some, or at the very least, knew ‘of him’. Here is a little of Allie that most didn’t know:
.* the man could play pool, he had game.
* he loved Supertramp, particularly the Album Crime of the Century.
* he was very intelligent and when he attended school as a young guy, he excelled. My brother often told me how he was brilliant in math.
* he had a photographic memory for numbers. I remember people being in awe as he would ream off old, obscure numbers like a calculator spewing out statistics.
* He always protected family, and as a kid, he allowed my mild mannered self to go about my business without having to keep my head on a swivel- a skill that, at times, kept my peers safe:)
* He suffered many demons, often dressed in the form of hypomania, confusion, depression, and psychosis.
* He never held a grudge. This was a quality that my dad pointed out often.
* Whenever people grew tired, my dad was always there for him, always.
*He was always the life of the party when he was young; a popular boy with charm to spare.
* He was funny as heck.
* He was often a prisoner of various drug habits, that unfortunately, didn’t get along well with his mood disorder.
* He wanted desperately to connect to people, however, whether because of his own decisions, fear to trust others, or plain circumstance, he never could find his soul mate, he couldn’t be saved from his fate.
* He enjoyed boxing and known to partake in his own unique brand of ‘rough housing’ from time to time.
Allie had so much potential, he had so much talent, and I speak for all my brothers when I say, we only desperately wanted to tilt him towards a more hopeful life, a place where he could accentuate his strengths and make amends for his regrets. I’m sorry Allie you couldn’t find that special hand outstretched to help, that lift that one often needs, that nudge towards towards a better path.
A wise friend told me recently about suspended grief, the kind that holds one back from engaging fully in relinquishing hold of the memory of love that you once held so dearly. Allie’s loss is like a slow burn that seems to get more intense as the hours pass. For anyone reading this, please take hold of the love you have near and reflect on anyone who keeps you up at night because of some of their less wise choices. Speak up, tell your truth, and tell them the potential you clearly see in them, which is only waiting for that one moment when everything can change. Love you big brother; hope to catch your spirit soon.
Gary Flynn (brother)